5 Tips to Handle Toddler Tantrums

We’ve all been there—your toddler suddenly starts screaming, crying, or falling out in the middle of the store. You feel overwhelmed, a little embarrassed, and kind of mad. Tantrums are tough, but they’re also a normal part of toddlerhood! The good news? There are ways you can work through them without constantly yelling, threatening or punishing.

What you’ll learn in this post:
✅ Why tantrums happen (so you can prevent them)
✅ Strategies to stop meltdowns
✅ A toddler-friendly Feelings Chart

Why Do Toddlers Have Tantrums?

So let me say this first-tantrums are not a sign of bad behavior. Your toddler is learning independence, testing boundaries, and figuring out how the world works, one mini-explosion at a time.

You can’t really stop tantrums altogether (spoiler: that’s impossible 😅), but rather to help your child navigate them in a way that builds emotional intelligence. That means teaching them words for their feelings, offering choices, staying calm, and remembering that sometimes, the best strategy is just to ride the wave with them. It’s all part of the journey to raising a confident, emotionally secure little human!

Toddler tantrums are frustrating, messy, and sometimes downright confusing, but they’re also a completely normal part of development. Imagine waking up in a world where you know what you want but don’t have the words to say it, where your shoe feels “wrong” for no reason, and someone just told you no more snacks—it’s a lot to handle! At this age, toddlers are experiencing big emotions with little control, and their brains are still learning how to process frustration, disappointment, and even excitement. When they don’t have the words or emotional skills to express themselves, the only way to release all that energy is through—yep, a full-blown meltdown.

Common tantrum triggers:
✔ Overstimulation
✔ Hunger/Tiredness
✔ Frustration from lack of words
✔ Big emotions they can’t express

5 Strategies to help you navigate through tantrums

1. Stay Calm & Model the Emotion You Want

Toddlers watch everythingggggggg, they mirror our energy, whether it’s calm and reassuring or frustrated and overwhelmed. If their emotions are high and yours are too, you both end up in meltdown mode. But when you stay calm, you show them how to self-regulate even when things feel big and overwhelming.

What to say instead of yelling:
❌ “Stop crying!” → ✅ “I see you’re upset. Let’s take a deep breath together.
❌ “Calm down right now!” → ✅ “I know this is hard. I’m going to stay right here while we figure it out together.”

2. Give Them Words for Their Feelings

Now this tip I say time and time again. Toddlers don’t always have the words to express what they’re feeling, so frustration can quickly turn into a meltdown. You have to help them label their emotions and give them the tools they need to express themselves in a healthier way. Over time, this helps them move from screaming and crying to using words or pointing to visuals to communicate their needs. But this does take some upfront work, you can’t wait until the meltdown to start practicing.

One way to make this easier? Use a Feelings Chart! A simple visual tool with faces and feelings helps toddlers recognize and point to how they feel—even when they can’t say it out loud yet. Having one nearby during tantrums can be a game-changer!

What to say instead of dismissing their feelings:
❌ “You’re fine. Stop being dramatic.” → ✅ “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated. Can you find ‘frustrated’ on your emotion chart?”
❌ “There’s nothing to be mad about.” → ✅ “I see that you’re really upset. Let’s look at your feelings chart together—are you feeling sad or mad?”

📌 Want an easy way to help your toddler name their emotions? Check out my Toddler Feelings Chart and Flashcards in my Etsy shop! It’s a simple, printable tool to help little ones understand and express their feelings. 👉 [Feelings Chart + Flashcards]

3. Offer a Simple Choice Instead of Saying No

As a parent I get it, sometimes you have to tell them no and that’s okay. But hearing “no” all the time can make toddlers feel powerless, which fuels frustration and tantrums. Instead of shutting them down, give them a choice that redirects their behavior while still making them feel in control. This shifts the focus from “you can’t” to “here’s what you CAN do.”

What to say instead of just saying no:
❌ “No, you can’t have cookies for breakfast.” → ✅ “We’re not having cookies right now, but you can choose yogurt or a banana!”
❌ “Stop running around the store!” → ✅ “Do you want to help push the cart or hold my hand while we shop?”

4. Create a Calm-Down Space

When emotions run high, sometimes toddlers just need a quiet space to reset. A calm-down space is a designated cozy area where they can go to breathe, self-regulate, and work through their emotions in a safe way. This teaches them that big feelings aren’t bad—they just need space to process them.

What to do instead of forcing them to stop crying immediately:
❌ “Go to your room until you’re done crying.” → ✅ “Let’s go to your cozy spot where you can take a break and feel better.”
❌ “Calm down right now or we’re leaving!” → ✅ “It looks like you need a minute. Would you like to sit with your stuffed animal or look at your feelings chart?”

📌 If you’re in a public space and a calm-down corner isn’t an option, find a quieter spot nearby, crouch down to their level, and give them a moment to process their emotions with gentle reassurance.

5. Praise the Small Wins

Tantrums can be exhausting, but when your toddler manages their emotions (even a little bit), celebrating those wins reinforces positive behavior. Praising their effort—whether it’s using words instead of screaming or calming down more quickly than before—encourages them to keep practicing emotional regulation.

What to say instead of ignoring their progress:
❌ “Finally! You stopped crying.” → ✅ “You did such a great job taking deep breaths when you were upset! I’m really proud of you.”
❌ “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” → ✅ “You used your words instead of yelling—high five! That was awesome.”

Final Thoughts: Tantrums Are a Learning Opportunity

Your little one isn’t trying to give you a hard time; they’re having a hard time.

By staying calm, giving them words for their feelings, offering choices, creating a safe space to reset, and praising their progress, you’re teaching them the skills they need to handle big emotions in a healthy way.

Remember, progress takes time. Some days will be smoother than others, but every moment you handle with patience and guidance helps shape your toddler’s emotional intelligence for the future. You’ve got this! 💛